whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
