Cold hands, warm shart.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
