But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
