I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
