There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
