I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
