I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I party with great urgency now.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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