also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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