did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dude. I can hear the air.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize