Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
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I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
