It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
