the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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