I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize