I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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