what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
