Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
