i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize