I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
