dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
