think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
