it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
