It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
