This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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