Plan B is the new Plan A
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
