So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I supernannyed him into submission
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
