I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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