forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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