The maid of honor just puked.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
