I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
