Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
