Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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