I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
