Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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