exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
