plz talk dirty to me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
