there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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