this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
this will be a night to untag.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Please don't give away my fajitas
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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