ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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