I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
