It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My feet surprised me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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