Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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