I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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