Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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