Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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