Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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