I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize