So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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