Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
