I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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