I want you more than these girls want KFC
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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