Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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