STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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