I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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