i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize