planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
