Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
where am i from again
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
