that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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