Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
