You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
